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Saturday, June 27th, 2009

Time:1:32 am.
Two words. French Antilles.
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Thursday, June 18th, 2009

Time:11:36 pm.
Aren't we all kind and loving at heart?
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Subject:Life
Time:11:05 pm.
I always thought that eventually life would be full of easy answers. Why is every little thing difficult, like walking up a mountain. I want it to be ganja-easy.

Flight 447 made me think of something. They died either in horror, then death. I don't think it's the fear part I mind too much - it's the pain part. Noone should suffer. I think they must have been pain free and bewildered for 4 minutes, then died instantly. Thank God for that. I think there are three stages of pain. I'll explore them in a later post.
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Friday, May 29th, 2009

Subject:Water Body City
Time:9:59 pm.
Well, I'm not dead yet.

I pondered a bunch of things this week, but nothing really made my mind stir. I don't know whether to stir the cauldron or cause the muscle to die by apathy.
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Sunday, May 24th, 2009

Time:7:32 pm.
Waiting until Sept. 14th now... One last hurrah of a summer?
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Wednesday, May 13th, 2009

Subject:Eye Pod
Time:4:59 pm.
No wonder we're in a recession. The world has gone crazy, and we've gone crazy with it.

There are a lot of losers in a downturn, and a lot of winners. For some with the comfort and stability of a black suit job the paycheques keep rolling in, but everything gets cheaper. Huh...I never wanted a Pontiac anyway. For the rest, and those in the sales industry, everything takes a kicking. No matter who we want to blame - the insurgents, the government, etc...when it comes down to it it's our own collective idiocy and greed that drives the stake into us.

We're all guilty. You should feel guilty. You should feel shame.

What have our forefathers done, what has our country done so that as we come of age we walk into a world that is not ready to accept us. After years of stripping the beauty from the world, we're left standing in a pool of nostalgia and used hope and expectations that our previous generations have lost for us.

Music is beautiful. Music is my world.

I can't look at the big picture, because the big picture is seeded with people like those who come to me now, blaming me for the ghost in the machine.

I love the little beauties in life. I love living every second at a time. The seconds are joyous. The tenths of seconds are sensual and erotic. The times when the world seems to freeze are the times I wish I would never leave.

I hope you go to bed tonight at some point and appreciate what you have, yearn for little and wake up with the willingness to start over. So many of us (me included) have started over, and are ready to embrace the new way.

Whatever that new way is.


My Lake


My Saying
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Tuesday, May 12th, 2009

Time:10:40 pm.
My goal this year is to have a good Christmas. That's all - a good Christmas.

I think I have a lot of work ahead of me.
Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.

Sunday, August 31st, 2008

Subject:Thought
Time:10:57 pm.
Comments: Read 16 or Add Your Own.

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

Subject:Photos from Trip
Time:10:20 pm.
I've been tired. I haven't been myself. I have a lot on my mind, but I either haven't had the time or the inclination to write it down. Inclination = depression?

Oh, and implicit trust breeds corruption.




Read more... )
Comments: Read 11 or Add Your Own.

Thursday, June 12th, 2008

Subject:Thursday
Time:3:45 pm.
I've been in sort of a funk lately, but I think summer is lifting me out of it somewhat.

The future seems bleak - always has, but I try to enjoy each day like sort of a gift.

Life is stressful now - I won't get into why, but I need to blaze myself into a week of happiness and h0*$#ness. I hate things with no end date. I like to get over things and start afresh. Otherwise the stress just eats me away slowly.

Le sigh. Le huzzah.
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Sunday, April 13th, 2008

Time:9:49 pm.
"The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.”

- Chuck Palahniuk
Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.

Saturday, April 12th, 2008

Subject:Spring
Time:9:41 am.
Mood: relaxed.
Music:Pantera - Walk.
I haven't been as crazy about things lately. I don't know if it's spring, or change, or time.

I guess I'm finding peace with life.

There was a time when everything sucked. I was a prisoner - trapped like a winter gopher in the caves I'd built for myself. Life was dark and I think everything reflected that. Things are slow now, but pretty cool. I'm keeping busy for the most part, so while I'm somewhat bored (curse) I stay out of trouble (good).

Life was for me a perpetual search for myself and to save my own sanity by finding ways to feel good.

I have goals right now. Somewhat unattainable...but they're goals.

I am always on a quest for good music. I tend to rarely find it, but instead hop from little islands of entertainment that cause me joy. I love music. I REALLY love music. It stirs my soul, gets me lost, and lets me fantasize. One thing I thought was tongue-in-cheek good was:

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=69041220

Her song was kinda catchy, which is lucky considering she walked into 15 minutes. If I were a record label, I'd publish her one-off record.

I still can't turn away from stuff like Within Temptation.

I was talking with a friend about who was the best Metal band. (real metal - thrash metal) and I don't really have an answer. Here are some thoughts:

Metallica - well, you guys had the potential of a friggin' rocket ship. Then you turned to suck/commercial, and now are appealing like the backstreet boys. Your music all sounds the same, and it's certainly no Master of Puppets.

Megadeth - Dave Mustaine is probably a big pain in the ass. But musically one of the best in the world. There is no "perfect", but if you do straight comparison his beautiful and shredding guitar work, combined with his wry lyrical commentaries make him a leader of pod-people. I love you Dave. United Abominations is great (latest album).

Slayer - Awesome, but not mainstream enough to be "the best". They are the best at being Slayer... Whatever shit anyone says about them is like criticising a shark for not planting flowers. Just let them be Slayer - fast, hard, and evil. Just like good sex.

This led to talk about why we are talking about "the best" bands, and they were all around in the 80's?

I think it's because in those days kids had a LOT of free time (no intern3t, no ipods, no PSP, no "guitar hero") so they could spend 8 hours a day in a band or practicing guitar (Dave Mustaine, Marty Friedman, Paul Gilbert, Joe Satriani, Steve Vai, Eddie Van Halen, Glenn Tipton, KK Downing, Jeff Hanneman, Kirk Hammett, etc).

Now what do we do? Walk around text messaging, smoke some dope and play Guitar hero. We've been fucked up for the last 15 years because of internet and easy fun. What are we good at any more?

Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Friday, March 7th, 2008

Subject:Friday
Time:10:33 pm.
I've never had good weeks. But I've had a number of bad weeks.

On weeks like these, I feel like life is walking on a treadmill, just walking and doing the same thing over and over until we fall.
Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.

Friday, February 29th, 2008

Subject:Amy Walker
Time:4:49 pm.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UgpfSp2t6k

Amy Walker's "21 Accents" is great...
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Saturday, February 23rd, 2008

Subject:Alice in Wonderland
Time:9:32 am.
I would like to learn all the drug symbolism possible in "Alice in Wonderland".

A friend and I were talking about it last week and I could only figure out part of it.

As much of a children's story it is, that thing must be laced with drug references and inspiration.
Comments: Read 8 or Add Your Own.

Time:9:24 am.
Life actually isn't too bad right now. Everything is pretty stable and I'm enjoying a few things.

Time to upset the apple cart maybe then.

I haven't been too impressed with my hollywood injection lately. Boring movie rentals, boring television. I think it's a mixture of luck, holidays, and the writer's strike. Where are the movies that make me think! Where is something to stir me!

"We Own the Night" got a valid 54% rating. Kinda slow and just a story. It didn't do anything for me. "Consensus: Bland characters, clichéd dialogue and rickety plotting." is what www.rottentomatoes.com says. Uh huh.
Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.

Sunday, February 3rd, 2008

Subject:Peace
Time:7:29 pm.
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Subject:Scientology
Time:7:17 pm.
Music:Amy Winehouse - Rehab.
I have saved all the Fishman papers.

What a bunch of lunatics.

They've created a fiction in which they are more powerful and important than us.

Just so they don't feel like the real losers that they are. TOM CRUISE.
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Subject:Old Man Winter
Time:6:34 pm.
Mood: scared.
Music:Blink 182 - I Miss You.
Cold, snowy, blah.

I wonder if the weather has been nicer this year back home...hmmm.

I've been thinking about Iraq in random weekly thoughts for the past 6 months or so. Maybe longer, but nyah, I don't really remember that far back.

"...no civil war has ever been won by an outside force coming in to bring peace to a region..." If we want them to stop infighting, we need them to fix it themselves. We will never perform this task for them. How would you like the French military on OUR soil telling us how to do things?

It'll be hard to see our work disappear, but I really don't think we have a choice. We CAN'T bring peace to the region (can anyone bring peace to the middle east? They're a bunch of race & religious bigots out there - everyone fighting because they think God is behind them. Shi-ite, Sunni, Palestinian, etc...

When we pull out, we're dooming a people and land to perpetual civil war or tyranny, but hey, that's life. Our only other choice is to become the oppressor and dominate the land...and that wouldn't be acceptable to most of us.

It seems that when the soldiers get mad at the Iraqi's for fighting back (revolution?), it's alright to blow them asunder. It becomes personal - "that fucker just shot at me", and like the great hand of God we and our almighty war machines wreak furious vengeance. Vengeance that feels justified.

Terrorism is one thing - but to invade someones land then get annoyed when they shoot back - that's kind of a hypocrisy.

I like our military. I think it should be the best in the world, and should be feared like the little kid in "The Grudge". But let's not invade anyone half-heartedly and pretend we're going to make everyone love us. Why don't we stay off other people's land. Forever. Stop the meddling. Who's next - Iran? Canada? France? Vietnam again?

If it were up to me, I'd a ho. Give me an M4 and I'll fix everything.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1ync1wDIec
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Saturday, January 5th, 2008

Subject:The new year
Time:11:37 pm.
Mood: crappy.
Music:Metallica - Orion.
Christmas has been a mess, but not a horrific mess, so that's ok.

It's an emotional time - that's not a good thing. Full of good and bad and a bit of everything. The food was good, I likeded that. Chocolate, turkey, booze (shhh), and little appetizers.

Not much is new in my life. It's like counting to a million on an abacus. I'm doing alright for being at the mid part of my lowly roller coaster.

I watched Sicko (Michael Moore) on DVD today and thought it was as good as his other movies. Thought provoking and well put together. Whether or not it's true doesn't really matter, and I don't think he is pushing it down our throats like a priest. It makes me think though. I wonder if the poor in this country are just fodder for our military and graveyards.

Maybe I'll watch Atonement at theflicks this week.

Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

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