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Apocolyptic visions part VII - the World
All the world's a stage, and we are merely players....

As a child I remember playing on my street, looking at the world around me and thinking "this is the world". That one day I would own a house on this street, that the neighbors would all be the same, and maybe I would one day be a Mom like all the others. The world was a microcosm there. It had houses, jobs, people, friends, animals, weather, hope and despair. I played that world - and loved it. My dolls made life, my dirt created visions, and my rocks crushed the entities I created.

I'm stuck in the middle now, and it's a rough place to be. Lost in the spotless sterility of youth everything seems perfect. Every day is pretty good, because there's really nothing to do but play and dream.

With age comes both wisdom and the acceptance that you and yours are completely, entirely dominated and controlled. You had better like it, or grow to live comfortably in your place. Not too many suburban elders "fight for their right" or question things.

They live on old morals, old values, and old stories.

An old man once told me a story in a barbershop. He was a grizzly veteran, probably about 75 years old and full of the look and stench of his time. He explained to me how things are the way they are because he helped fight to save our land from the Germans. I remember having this feeling of almost disbelief, because he was so adamant, old, and crazy. The more vehament the arguement, the more stubbornly our minds fight back I think. I love and appreciate what they did, but it feels like a numb callous for me. I have trouble feeling or connecting with it. I have trouble changing, because I live for the moment and not for the past or future.

I don't see life, or the war as having much real moral value for me. It's like investing in barren land, or taking a 100 week course in blinking. A waste of time.

I want to feel good about the world. I want to feel like we're climbing up a hill as a team, and that we're all worthwhile, we're all important, and that we're going to get somewhere fantastic.

It seems that all of us know the inevitable though. The encroaching darkness of time, the expanding grip of America and China and the Oil that runs through our veins. Our war against hate is spilling against us like a virus, breeding new generations of Martyrs that having nothing more joyous in their life to do than to take us out. Within 20 years, it'll be instinctive to their DNA...

We're going to hell, and all I want is a taco. Please save us.

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Hi there. I'm wondering if you are the same girl (aka young woman!) who used to write under the name smchyrocky here? It looks like your previous posts were deleted so I wasn't sure it was the same person or not...

Leave a comment on my blog if you don't mind letting me know either way. THANKS and I do hope things have improved for you...


If you're interested in me, feel free to read and friend me.

If you're looking for someone famous to friend - then it's not me. I'm nobody.

I hope your life is good (improved?) too.


"Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind"

Badass movie BTW. I love it.

Ya, there's probably about 10 movies on my OMG-i-bow-to-you list. Either for being a badass movie, or just having fun ideas. Or fun to watch stoned.

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