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All flesh is grass. and all its glory fades
Like the fair flower dishevell'd in the wind;
Riches have wings, and grandeur is a dream;
The man we celebrate must find a tomb,
And we that worship him, ignoble graves.
- William Cowper, Task (bk. III, l. 261)

You know that feeling you get when you're sitting on a bus, really tired, and watching life and people flash by at 30 miles an hour? It's a slow, lonely death.

Minutes tick by - hours tick by. You miss your stop. You daydream. You think and wonder about stuff. I use that time to defrag my overly-active brain. I wonder about bigger-than-simple things. It's not the buttons of life, or the shoe-dirt that fascinates me. It's the careers, relationships, loves and laughs that people have and take for granted. I see people arguing. I see people sitting in cars alone at stoplights, wiping tears from their eyes, as they desperately try to get home (or away from home) to resolve some terrifying issue.

That's my life. I'm peering through a fisheye lens, and everything seems to happen superquick. I don't feel alone - I'm not. But I'm separate. All the other alone people are in their own fishbowl-lives, looking through there peepholes at the other people running along the hallways having fun. We're the outsiders. Self-sealed into our own tombs from inside the soul of society.

I never knew what I wanted until it was too late.
I never knew what to dream about until my dreams were taken away.
I took for granted all I had. Then when all I had was gone, I was left
to savor the little crumbs that were left.
Life is a dead, heartless mass while we live it.
It turns in a swirling, visceral beast when we are shut out.

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So who is this person who speaks so strong? Just what is shehe?


I'm me! Pleased to meet you!

Tell me what ideas you have, rather than just questions. What is your real journal?

Also, I'm asking so many questions because I'm genuinely curious as to who you are, how you define yourself, etc. One's description of themselves may not be the most accurate, but how they say it speaks pretty damn well.

I wish the world took us on who we were, not the persona the people give us.

What is your favourite thing in life?

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Ok. How was your Christmas?

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Mine was...not really interesting....but I'm sure you don't need to hear the gories.

What's the best memory of yours?

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I don't think that's pathetic...sad maybe but aren't most of us in the same boat?

Maybe when the broad brush of tainting paints everything red things will start to look normal for us. It's only by tasting the good moments that we find the bad ones leave bitter tastes.

Life is complicated. Sometimes my mind keeps on wandering about certain stuffs that made me feel special and worst. But at the end, all I can do is to accept and go with the flow. To be braver enough to face all the challenges. You should, too. ^-^ jamzky ( blog )

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